November 20, 2010 by Christine
Anyone who reads about attachment parenting likely heard last week when this Erica Jong op-ed piece came out. The article reflects Erica's criticism of Dr. Sears and the attachment parenting practices that he promotes*. It also criticizes celebrity adoption and green parenting. It was an interesting read.
I would like to just pull out one quote from the piece that I think is worth repeating: "Mothers are guilty enough without more rules about mothering... In truth, nothing is more malleable than motherhood." I appreciate that sentiment.
So why do I bring all of this up? I am constantly reflecting on my role as a mother. I try to make informed choices for our family based on reading, advice from friends and family, and the unique needs of our nuclear family. Even though I do hope that I am making good decisions for my daughter, I often feel doubt. It bothers me that no matter what we are doing for our little girl, it feels like someone is standing in judgement.
I do believe in many of Dr. Sears' recommendations for child-rearing: co-sleeping was a lifesaver for us for several months when I was nursing and working full time. Slings and other baby carriers are really useful, cozy, and much easier under certain conditions than a stroller. I am VERY pro-nursing... I could totally see myself becoming a lactation consultant after I retire.
But many believers in attachment parenting would never dream of working outside the home, and I do. We no longer co-sleep. (Though having a sick little girl has meant Charlotte has wound up with us a few times.) Charlotte weaned at 15 months, while other AP-moms may have worked to keep nursing longer.
I would like to conclude with one response to the controversial Erica Jong piece: The author states, "My take-away from the piece was an agreement that society, advocacy groups, and even other mothers tend to put pressure, place blame, and pass judgement on how we are mothering our children. Her criticism seemed less about the actual parenting practices she mentions and more about the misperception that if we do not follow these practices we are bad mothers."
Parenting is hard enough work as it is... this just served as a reminder to me that parents need to support each other, not stand and judge!
*It seems worth mentioning that Sears' recommendations, which have come to be known as attachment parenting, are not necessarily identical to what many women call attachment parenting.
Comments
Sarah
#1
OH, I read that article last week! Crazy! I keep meaning to write a blog post about being a mom and judgments from other people... It happens so much!!
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